i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
