I've blown a few things in my day
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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