I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
