Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
false alarm, still single
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