I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
