it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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