you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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