3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
