Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
