I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
