It's Friday. Sex?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
should my penis look like a turkey
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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