i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I AM VODKA MAN
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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