I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
