brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
