if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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