Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
