It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize