i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Are we still banned from the library?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
