Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
