these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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