I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
