I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I will pee on everything he values.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
