matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
