have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
