I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
