A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
