The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize