What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
