Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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