This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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