i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
