Already got asked if we're dating
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
