Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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