i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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