so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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