I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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