I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
