yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
