There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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