If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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