haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
