Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
