New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize