I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize