Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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