i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
