She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
