I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
