Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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