Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
