Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize