she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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