Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
