i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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