How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This is my gift to your gina
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
