I heard we made out
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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