is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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