So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
