My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
