Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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